Week 1

Johnny Depp could face up to 10 years in prison for smuggling his dogs into Australia. Prosecuting attorneys have been lobbying to throw Tim Burton in with him as well.

On Monday, the White House posted a photo of a toddler throwing a tantrum in front of the president. Obama wasn’t phased at all. He said Boehner does that to him on a weekly basis.

Time Magazine reported that Pope Francis said he misses eating pizza and hasn’t watched TV since 1990. After making these remarks, he drove off in his Chevette and popped in his tape of “Groove is in the Heart.”

The Anaheim Ducks, the team Emilio Estevez vocally cheers for on Twitter, beat the Chicago Blackhawks, putting them ahead 3-2 in the series. The Ducks have strength and longevity…just like Emilio Estevez’s career.

A Montana high school teacher got major media attention when he told his students that they don’t have to take their final if Taylor Swift calls him. In a related story, students at an Idaho high school demanded a final when Taylor Hanson showed up at their class.

Notes: I’m still trying to come up with a system for local news stories. I’m at the “throwing a dart at U.S. map” level at the moment.