Jokes: Kylie Jenner, Scott Walker, Duff Beer, Doughnuts!

Kylie Jenner made news when she proclaimed herself “the new Kim Kardashian.” She’s starting off on the right foot because that statement was leaked by Vivid Entertainment.

A 108-year-old woman threw out the first pitch at a Seattle Mariners game. Everyone in the organization was delighted by the arm on her except for struggling rookie relief pitcher Mayckol Guaipe.

More on baseball…Chicago Cubs owner Todd Ricketts has recently played a fundraising role for Wisconsin governor Scott Walker’s presidential campaign. It’s a match made in heaven. Scott Walker is inexperienced with world affairs and the Cubs are inexperienced with world series.

For all The Simpsons fans out there, plans are in place to distribute actual Duff Beer. Currently, the only place Americans can drink it is at the Universal Studios theme park. You can find it at the “Just Tell My Kid I’m in the Can” tavern.

Not long after this doughnut licking scandal, Ariana Grande posted an apology video where she mentioned that she was disgusted with herself. You know? I’ve said the exact same thing after wolfing down 4 Krispy Kremes.

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