Jokes: Seattle Hockey, Kanye, Kohl’s, OSU, NFL

Ohio State University added a bacon vending machine to their campus this week. While I’m sure OSU did this to make an extra few bucks off their students, I think this will ultimately backfire. One of those students will wolf down so much of that fat, they will be bound to get hit by a bus and earn free tuition.

Big news for Seattle! The NHL announced the city will host the league’s 32nd team starting in 2021. In Seattle fashion, the league will fix up the arena, raise the rent, and displace whichever team is playing there now.

A Florida man was arrested for stealing a pair of Nikes at a Kohl’s location after he completed his job interview there. While he did not get the job at Kohl’s, he was swiftly hired as a pinch runner for the Oakland A’s.

ESPN.com released their quarterback projections for the 2019 season. They made predictions like Flacco to Miami, Bridgewater to the New York Giants, and Bortles to hot dog stand number 30 at TIAA Bank Field.

The Cher Show actor Jerrod Spector called out Kanye West for scrolling through his social media feeds during opening night of Cher’s Broadway production. While West defended himself via a rep by saying he was setting up a meeting with President Trump, I think we all know he was looking up voodoo spells to reverse the Kardashian Kurse.

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