Jokes: Oscars Edition!

Michael Buscemi played his role well in Black Kkklansman. He did the best portrayal of Steve Buscemi as a cop.

Black Panther star Michael B Jordan stated that he’d like to audition for roles not intended for African-Americans. “Ron Stallworth” was a missed opportunity.

Emma Stone’s “Abigail” character in The Favourite has an interesting relationship with Queen Anne. Best relationship her character has had with someone large and in charge since Superbad.

Bohemian Rhapsody is nominated for Best Picture along with The Favourite. All the film critics will be calling it “The Battle of Two Queens.”

A Star is Born was performed impeccably by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. The success has spawned a sequel entitled A Star is Born This Way By a Bad Romance The Night Before The Hangover.

Prince William, Don Cheadle, Miranda Lambert, Bryce Harper, Oscars

Prince William and Prince Harry are looking to divide Kensington Palace into two separate “courts” to ease the tensions between the brothers and their wives…and you thought it was the USA who was going to build that wall!

On this week’s Saturday Night Live, host Don Cheadle wore a Soviet Union hockey jersey with Trump’s last name on the back and “45” as the jersey number during the goodnights. When Trump saw this, he called Putin and told him, “Dude. rump Plaza, not Rockefeller Plaza.”

Country singer Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin on Saturday. It’s probably common knowledge that Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani were not invited to the secret wedding, no doubt.

The Philadelphia Phillies are a front-runner to land former Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper.  This will be the biggest loss in Washington since Michael Dukakis gave it up to George H.W. Bush.

The Oscars are going to air every category in response to recent protests. Yes! You are going to be able to watch every category “Best Title Writing,” “Best Assistant Director,” and “Best Coffee Run.”

A New Jersey groom was arrested at his own wedding in Pennsylvania for sexual assaulting an underage waitress. No need to worry about the groom sabotaging his own wedding because the Pennsylvania State Penitentiary is holding a new ceremony for him and “Big Guns” McGillicutty.

Elizabeth Warren declared her candidacy for President this weekend, which is good because the Democratic Party was worried out of their minds about a light candidate pool this election.

Pete Davidson has been spotted with actress Kate Beckinsale. After the elder actress nabbed the SNL cast member, all I have to say is, I see what you’re doing, UK. Recruiting American celebrities for the Royal Army’s loyalty. Well played, Great Britain. Well played.

The National Inquirer made another threat to Bezos about publishing more obscene text messages between him and Lauren Sanchez. They’re calling it Operation: The Also Sent Section.

The NBA trade deadline passed this week, so did a big opportunity for the New Orleans Pelicans…to change that damn name.